The Good, The Bad, The Take
The Stand — Comedy shows are first-date gold. A good first date should center around an experience where two people can have fun while still exploring their new prospect. Breaking bread is the default; however, the interaction often turns into a peppering of HR-curated questions approved by legal. Movies postpone the technical interview, but little is learned sitting shoulder-to-shoulder in a crowded theater.
Enter the comedy show. It splits the difference between dinner and a movie — a third focal point you can both laugh at. An attentive listener can glean which jokes make their date laugh the loudest (or not at all). Sensitive topics? Let the comedian bring them up. Definitely worth integrating into your date rotation.
Tickets at The Stand typically run $25–$35 for about an hour of entertainment. Pair it with drinks and appetizers afterward and you're still under $200 for a full night out.
Pastrami Queen — Overpriced pastrami needs to die. I recently grabbed lunch with a friend at Pastrami Queen on 78th and Lex. It had been a while since I'd tasted that delicious, briny, fatty goodness, so I ordered a Reuben minus the cheese (I might be a goyim, but I'm not a savage).
Now, I'm used to paying $25–$28 for a pastrami on rye — but those sandwiches are as big as your head and you save the other half for later. This one was barely a full portion and cost $33.75. It tasted fine, but for $34 I can get a veal parm entree. Overrated, not worth it — who is paying this?
Stigmatize Scrollers — people scrolling their phones at a busy bar should pay a fine. It's long past time we re-established societal norms, including people sitting at the bar have an obligation to facilitate conversation. Why are you messaging your Hinge match when real people are standing in front of you?
There's no bigger buzzkill than ordering a drink and glancing over to see some dude with his eyes glazed over checking DraftKings or aimlessly scrolling IG. And ladies, maybe get your noses out of the endless list of Hinge matches while you're at it.
People should lock their phones up when they enter the bar, and not be able to retrieve them until they leave. The first bar to implement that policy will need security to keep from blowing past the legal occupancy rates, as set by FDNY.